"A&E" (2008)
On the 8th of June I had to call an ambulance. Well, where do I start... I was ready for bed, I rose to make the move to my bedroom and my legs went from under me. I tried standing again and again and again, falling several times. Finally making it to the bathroom (after nearly going headlong into the toilet before I made it to the bedroom) I collapsed beside the bed where I reached for the phone and dialled the emergency response number. The ambulance arrived at my door soon after and they took me to the hospital. From my arrival the nurses in the "Accident and Emergency Department" were talking about sending me home in a taxi in the morning. That was not to be, as I ended up being a resident of Timaru Hospital until the 18th. of June.
Ten nights is the longest I've spent in a hospital since my birth, not that I have much of a memory of that time. This all came about through the inaction of the New Zealand Government to provide me with adequate and affordable heating in my flat/home. I left hospital on the 18th, but was unable and not allowed to return to "my place" without the heating being addressed, this decision being made by the Field Officer of my local Multiple Sclerosis Society. So I spent ten nights convalescing and recuperating in a hospital bed. This I felt was the best thing that could happen for me. It was a rather tumultuous time for me, sending my emotions on quite a rollercoaster ride. You must remember, I am the emotional one in my family…
While in hospital I had the good fortune to meet some of the most compassionate and caring people there can be. Nurses, doctors, physiotherapists and all the other staff of the hospital. It reminded me that this 'gift' of caring is not something taught in the classroom, you either have it or you don't. One of the resident doctors spent an hour or more beside my bed as I sobbed my fears to him. The fears I had that Sunday 8th of June as I saw my condition running away on me. Running at a rate that I, and my medical team could see was more rapid than it should have been if I had a more comfortable, and warm living environment. I returned home today, on Wednesday 25th June 2008 at 8:30am to give access to my property to a tradesman to install a heat-pump into my lounge. So now, at 7:00pm I sit comfortably in 20 degrees (Celsius) heat with just a jumper on. Instead of being wrapped up in my sleeping-bag that I, in the past, often spent many winter nights in the Mountains, in the open or 'under canopy'. Sitting here at my computer or watching the television, in my sleeping-bag, freezing in negative temperatures.
The last couple of months have been the first of winter and I have gone from walking upwards of twenty kilometres (about 12 miles) every day - to about 3 kilometres (1.6 miles). I end up on my knees unable to take another step and my voice "goes to bits" leaving me looking and sounding like I'm drunk.
In fact, a few short weeks before my time in hospital, on my return from the local store, this happened a few hundred metres from home. I always thought I would be able to crawl forever, but apparently not. A young man, in his early to mid twenties stopped his car close by and wound his window down to ask if I needed any help. I replied, in my M.S slur, that I'd appreciate any help he could offer. He got out and gave me a much needed shoulder to my door, and all this from a young man in his twenties, it gave me a sense of hope in this world.
So, thank-you to that anonymous young man on my street of Timaru. I was speaking to the owner of a dairy a few hundred metres from home who saw me that day and he told me of the two other young men my saviour had dropped off who were on their porch pointing and laughing at me.
Well, I'm sure I looked rather amusing, and laughter is always a good way to hide the tears. Tears of frustration and tears of loss. But one hand reached to me can turn these so easily to tears of hope, and there's always hope.
I love this world, and I love my place in it.