“Babbling Brook” (1999)
How silly, when people are continuously proving to me that who I am is O.K. I have so much, and for so long justified my positive attitude with the support of my friends – when they demand nothing from me as far as expectation. All they want is me. Me for me is so much purer than me for another.
When I do this I can give/offer so much more, not what I think/hope another wants, but what – who I am. My heart does summersaults when I see friends smile at who I am. Any expectations I hold through their eyes, are only ideals I have for myself from within. Ultimately, what I want them to see is me. If I could not do this, happiness would be an illusion, because to have true happiness (unfortunately) I also require quiet contemplation, the odd bout of sadness/loneliness…and despair. Then you really know when I am happy. Like now. Now I am happy, most of my closest friends are so many miles from me, I can only reach them through phone lines. I feel no shame when I call to say I am sad, or just to hear a familiar/friendly voice, because I also call when I want to share my elation and (often small) triumphs – my happiness. The greatest thing of this sharing is hearing the highs and albeit rare lows of my friends. To know I am trusted to carry these mixed emotions of another’s life.
So wait for me by a babbling brook
Walk with me down a tree lined path
I will hold your hand
Or put my arms about you
I will care for you
As a true friend should.
I can barely believe I am reaching towards the age of thirty, I knew my parents when they were my age. So different in view, ideals and needs but at the same time, so similar. Seen by all (except maybe parents) as adult and having only love and companionship as their needs beyond the superficial.